Classic Movies Bore Me

Any movie that is a ‘classic’ is crap.  Utterly unwatchable crap.

There’s hyperbole there, but there’s truth.  Older movies are paced much slower than modern movies.

But Alien, now there’s a film that’s aged worse than most.

Here’s the deal with Alien- it’s supposed to be this great suspense/horror film, right?  You know what the big big suspense moment is supposed to be?  When the baby alien pops out of the guys chest.

The thing is- anyone in a modern audience knows exactly what’s going to happen, since that scene has been lampooned so many times- from Looney Toons, to most famously, Spaceballs.  The scene has no surprise, no uncertainty, only the long wait before a dumb looking puppet finally emerges from the guy’s chest.

Aliens at least had some cool action scenes.


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