Retail: Garden of the Surreal II

(I ring up the items.  There are five of them, at $12 dollars each.)

Me:  And your total is $60.

Customer:  Sixty dollars?  What on Earth did I buy that was sixty dollars?

Me:  Let’s see.  (Prints out receipt.)  Five items, at twelve dollars each.

(Customer looks at me incredulously, as if five times twelve is somehow not sixty.)

(I wish this had only happened once.)

***

A customer came through my line.  He was grotesquely obese, and the smell was terrible.  I couldn’t figure out what it was, didn’t want to, and was doing my best not to smell him.

And then I saw the wet spot.  It was on the front of his pants, and going down his leg.  This man had peed his pants… and continued to do his shopping.

***

Kid:  Can I have something for free?

Me:  No.

Kid:  Why not?

Me:  Why should I give you something for free?

Kid:  I dunno.

(Same kid later was quite the trouble maker.  We almost had to kick him out of the store.)

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